


Leave Me Alone (Don't Leave Me Alone)

by Rallowfluvanz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Kageyama Tobio Angst, Kageyama Tobio Deserves Better, Kageyama Tobio Has Two Moms, Kageyama Tobio Siblings, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-02-09 14:04:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18639589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rallowfluvanz/pseuds/Rallowfluvanz
Summary: "Tobio," he feels himself tearing up, too serious and too overwhelmed with this feeling, "you're my best friend, and I love you. I don't know even half of what you went through in junior high, and even less about what you're going through now," he grumbles, frustrated that he doesn't understand, but Tobio laughs wetly, understanding his upset is not with him, "but I want you to be happy, and on the court with me for as long as we can. We're partners, whether or not we're kicking an opponent's ass. This is no nationals, but I want to fight this fight with you, too."Hinata can fight any battle. This one will be no different, because he's got his partner with him.





	1. A Kitchen Sink To Me, Is Not A Kitchen Sink To You, Okay Friend?

**Author's Note:**

> gratuitous amounts of commas, italics, and self-projection onto poor, undeserving Kageyama

Hinata isn't concerned... No, he's just confused. 

Volleyball is the best part of his life. It's what he looks forward to the most. Being able to play, and with a team now, was all he ever wanted. He would, without a doubt, play even if he was miserably sick. Never for long, with Sugawara-san and Daichi-san having always kept an eye on him, and now Hitoka-chan, because they know him, and they  _know_  how much it means to him, that no sickness is going to stop him.

So, he's confused. He doesn't understand people like Asahi-san, getting anxious about something so amazing. Anxious wasn't the right word. His upperclassmen talked about  _anxiety_. He isn't completely dumb, contrary to what Tsukishima might say. He knows after asking Asahi-san that sometimes it's strong enough to create fear even of something you love. But just because he knows the reality, that doesn't make any more sense to him than maths does. Which is to say, still not much sense. 

This whole time, he had never doubted he had found an equal with those beliefs, had been on the same wavelength as Kageyama. So why... Where is he? 

He hasn't been at practice this entire week. He was at school, sure, but only on Monday. Since then, he hasn't replied to Hinata's many messages. Hinata is getting antsy.

He misses his company, he realizes on the third day Kageyama isn't there to turn to when he gets in a particularly awesome spike at practice. His new kouhai look at him, confused as to where all his enthusiasm went so quickly, but the other second and third years catch on to what's going on, sharing sad and knowing looks that Hinata misses in his brooding. It takes him a while to catch on himself, thinking he misses volleyball with Kageyama. But no, he just misses  _Kageyama_. He isn't with him at lunch. Sure, Hinata has classmates he can spend lunch with that he likes just fine, but he feels like he's missing something important. As upsetting as the realization is, he has to accept that  _yeah, Kageyama is his friend_ , as if that isn't the weirdest fucking thought he's ever had. 

In light of this realization, Hinata takes it upon himself to figure out what the hell is going on with his friend. Because Hinata Shouyou is nothing if not the Best Friend someone can have, and now that he has figured it out, he's going to be the best damn friend Kageyama could ever have (since he is, obviously, lacking in that department). Probably because of that shitty personality that Hinata has found he actually  _likes_. He's made his decision. He'll go about this like he would anything else, with his infamous determination and optimism. He squares his shoulders and holds his head high as he makes his way to the bike racks.

Tomorrow is Saturday, and practice has just ended, again without Kageyama. He can tell that the others are worried about what the vanishing act means, but no one has made a move to see what is going on yet. Hinata realizes sadly, that even with all the progress Kageyama has made, he isn't really  _close_  with anyone else on the team. He'll need to work on that with him. Sugawara-san will know what to do... He'll call him later. But first, he needs to actually talk to Kageyama.

He grabs his bike and starts the relatively short walk to Kageyama's house, hoping to figure out what's wrong, ideally without being punched.

What if Kageyama hated volleyball all of a sudden? Or hated him!? Did something happen with another teammate? A classmate? Is he grounded? 

Hinata didn't pick up on anything different about him at lunch on Monday but his worries leave him nervous as he stops in front of Kageyama's house. He's only ever seen the outside, the other always insisting they get together at Hinata's house or at the park near their school. This is his chance to see where Kageyama lives! So cool! He carefully leaves his bike on the lawn in front of the house and skips up to the front door. He knocks, hoping Kageyama will be the one to answer but dreading it at the same time, having no plan on what he was going to say. He realizes his worrying was silly soon enough, though. The woman that answers the door is  _tall_ , with a kinder face than Kageyama and longer, curly hair, but with very similar features. Just softer. This isn't all that scary!

He rushes to bow, introducing himself and apologizing for showing up unannounced. 

"Kageyama-san?" He asks, looking up at her. She smiles, and his nerves ease some more.

"Hello. What did you need, honey?" She tilts her head, sizing him up, but not unkindly. Probably trying to place where she knows him from. Analytical. Must be a family thing.

"Ah! I'm from Karasuno! I was just wondering if Kageyama-kun was home!" At this, she seems to still. Hesitantly, she nods. She steps back and opens the door wider, inviting him in.

"He should be on the porch, just through the kitchen," she points behind her. The porch? Kageyama has a porch? That's so awesome! He'll have to come back again when it's warmer and make Kageyama sit out there with him. Worries forgotten, he thanks her before taking off his shoes and rushing to the other side of the house, pushing the sliding door open. He slows down when he actually spots Kageyama. He's on a big swing that hangs from the ceiling, blanket over his shoulders and his head resting to the side, eyes closed. As quietly as he knows how, he closes the door again and walks over to his friend. Is he asleep? Oh boy, Sugawara-san and Oikawa-san will want pictures. He slides the door closed so he doesn't wake up his friend before he tiptoes over, takes his phone out, and snaps a few pictures of Kageyama still slouched and looking kind of ridiculous, drooling onto his blanket. Unsatisfied, he finds himself leaning over Kageyama and ready to poke his cheek. He makes sure they are both in the frame and smiles innocently before taking another picture. Feeling Hinata poke him, Kageyama's eyes blink open. There is, surprisingly, no malice in them. Almost accepting of Hinata's nonsense, and that's not like Kageyama at all.

Immediately, Hinata puts down his phone and looks closer at his friend. His hair is messy and there are dark bags under his eyes.

Hinata finds himself being uncharacteristically quiet as he asks, "Kageyama-kun? What's wrong?"

Kageyama just blinks at him before turning away.

"Go home, dumbass," is all he says before closing his eyes again. Hinata's face screws up indignantly. A bird chirps outside the screened porch walls around them and Hinata snaps, yelping and swinging his arms around dramatically. He totally brushed him off! What a jerk! He'd just have to push harder, then. Planting himself down on the swing next to his friend, he leans over and into Kageyama's space. His intrusion causes the swing to rock more violently than its once peaceful pace.

"Hey, don't ignore me! What's going on?! Why haven't you been at practice?" Hinata demands as his friend scrambles to keep himself on the swing.

Kageyama settles back and glares at him, but it feels weaker than usual. Not piss-your-pants scary, more wobbly-knees scary. Even then, the blankets and the swing make him seem almost approachable, so Hinata just keeps staring right back. 

"I'll toss to you again soon enough, just leave me alone." 

Of course, he still thinks this was about volleyball. With Hinata everything usually was, but not this time.

"Bakageyama! That's not what I'm worried about! I mean, I do miss your tosses, but I miss  _you_ , ya big jerk!" Kageyama's glare hardens, his cheeks darkening, " What's going on...?" Hinata's voice softens as his indignation dies down.

"Idiot, don't just say shit like that out loud!" Kageyama deflects, his shoulders rising to his ears, all prompting Hinata's indignation to reignite with a vengeance.  

"I'll say whatever I want if it gets you to  _talk_ , damn it!" He punctuates his point by poking his friend in the forehead, glaring right back. Why does Kageyama still not trust him with personal crap?

"Dumbass Hinata, maybe I don't wanna talk about it with you!" And ouch, that hurts more than he thinks it should. He inhales sharply and drops his hand back to his lap. Even though he knows it comes more from Kageyama being defensive and upset about whatever is going on, it doesn't make him feel any better. But this trip wasn't about him, it was about being the Best Friend Kageyama could ever have.

"Shouyou." He cuts in before he can regret it, hands wringing together. That gets Kageyama to loosen up from his tense posture, shoulders drooping in shock.

"What?" Kageyama glares at him, probably confused.

"I'm your friend, jerkface, have been for ages, so you can call me Shouyou," Kageyama's glare intensifies at the insult as he shoves Hinata's face away, but Hinata pushes on, words muffled by Kageyama's offensively large hand, "and you can tell me what's wrong! I'm not Sugawara-san, but I still wanna help you if I can! Why do you look so tired?" At this, Kageyama's hand drops and he just looks exhausted. He breathes in, but when he breathes out, it's shakey and sad and _wrong_ and Hinata hates it. Serious, Hinata sits back down properly and turns to face him, one foot on the ground to steady the swing.

"You wouldn't get it," Kageyama mumbles, then tacks on, "dumbass," to make his point. Hinata Shouyou has learned that in dealing with Kageyama, sometimes you have to tap into all the patience you have, and then the reserves, and then the reserves for your reserves. It can be frustrating, and not his usual tactic, but then he gets to learn something new about his friend, and it feels worth it. This is just the surface, but Kageyama gave him an opening, so Hinata digs in his heals.

"I'd like to try," and at this point, he's prepared to beg, because something is wrong and he wants to know what. Kageyama has kept dodging him all week and is still doing it now. Hinata Shouyou does not back down from a fight, especially one this important.

Kageyama sighs, then looks at Hinata and sees the look in his eyes that means he's not giving in and so he gathers his thoughts. His next exhale is pure resignation and Hinata knows he's won.

"I have..." He stops and then gives Hinata a look, declaring: "Make fun of this and you die, got it?" Hinata nods quickly, wanting to reassure his friend. Kageyama's face softens again, but then it changes. He seems almost ashamed.

"I've got this thing. It's called MDD. It's a kind of... depression, where I have times where I don't feel like I have the energy to do anything. There are other... issues I have, too, but that part is why I haven't been at practice. Or school." Hinata's mouth opens and then closes, then opens again. Kageyama doesn't even comment on him looking like a fish, so he knows this is serious.

As softly as he can, he asks, "How come you didn't tell me Kageyama?"

Instead of answering, Kageyama glances somewhere to the right of Hinata's head, then to his own hands, rolls his eyes before settling back on the human embodiment of the Energizer Bunny sitting across from him.

"Tobio," he mumbles.

"Hah?"

"You can... call me that. If you want. But if you make me regret it, I'll kick your ass," Hinata's joy is almost tangible, unstoppable even with Kageyama's -or Tobio's, now- glare punctuating his threat. 

"Okay, but don't think you can dodge my question,  _Tobio-kun_. Why not?" He risks leaning a little closer.

"I don't know!" Tobio scowls down at his lap but doesn't push him away. He seems to think for a while, and Hinata lets him because he knows that what Kageyama needs right now is patience.

"You're so full of... energy, all the time" Tobio waves his hand vaguely in his direction without looking up, apparently gesturing to his energy," and most of the time I can keep up with you, even beat you, but I can't always. I figured you wouldn't get it," quieter, "I still don't think you will."

Hinata thinks for a second and decides he's not insulted because no, he doesn't get it. He definitely did not get it with Asahi-san, and he is currently struggling to understand what Tobio is going through, as well. 

"I think you're right," Tobio turns to him with a scowl, "but that doesn't mean I'm going to make fun of you, Bakageyama," he thinks he has more to say, knows he does, and he knows Tobio is waiting, so he keeps going, "so I'll just have to make sure that when I beat you, it'll only count when you're not feeling out of energy, otherwise that's a lame victory," and at this, Tobio seems to relax. Hinata feels like he's doing an okay job at this, now that Kageyama isn't getting embarrassed over the slightest hint of sentiment.

"But until then..." Hinata slowly places his hand on Tobio's head, carding through the strands. Not being condescending, just grounding them both in a physical connection to further cement the point he's trying to get across to his friend, that he's _here_.

"What can I do? 'Cause I have enough energy for both of us!" he makes a fist with his other hand and brings it close to his chest, crowding into Tobio's space again.

Tobio looks at him, and it feels like he's looking deeper. Like he's starting to understand something. Hinata just hopes his face isn't doing something stupid with how open he's being, and to Kageyama Tobio of all people! His sworn enemy! No... No, he's that but more now. They've grown up. He's his teammate, his partner, his best friend. It seems that Tobio, for all his bravado, had, until this moment, been unsure of all three. But judging by the way Tobio is staring at him, he gets it now. So, Hinata smiles, as brilliantly as he can with the sad thoughts in his head reminding him that Tobio did not think he cared about him past volleyball. 

Slowly, the fist held at Hinata's chest unclenches and he just looks back, and then he understands something even he hadn't considered until this moment. He's nothing if not emotional, vocal, and honest. So it feels right when his hand drops from Tobio's hair to his neck and he curls forward to rest his forehead on Tobio's temple. It's easier, he notes absently, since his growth spurt at the end of their first year.

"Tobio," he feels himself tearing up, too serious and too overwhelmed with this feeling, "you're my best friend, and I love you. I don't know even half of what you went through in junior high, and even less about what you're going through now," he grumbles, frustrated that he  _doesn't understand_ , but Tobio laughs wetly, understanding his upset is not with him, "but I want you to be happy, and on the court with me for as long as we can. We're partners, whether or not we're kicking an opponent's ass. This is no nationals, but I want to fight this fight with you, too."

Out of words, he drops his head to Tobio's shoulder and allows his friend time to think. He's shocked when suddenly, Tobio's arm escapes from his blanket and from between their bodies to wrap around his waist and latch on, pulling him closer. In such a rare sign of affection, Tobio's head rests on Hinata's shoulder in a sideways embrace that would be awkward if it weren't the most honored Hinata has ever felt. He brings his hand to the back of Tobio's head and just holds him, wanting to be there to support his partner the way they support each other when they play side by side. Together they are invincible, he'll make sure of it.


	2. Here's My Brother, And His Head's Screwed Up, But That's All Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Play with my hair again," Tobio is not fully awake, and he's not going to remember this, most likely. He might get punched in the morning. But Tobio is tired, and tired people are always more honest, right? Right. His free hand rests on the back of Tobio's head for a moment, feeling that there's an entirely real, complex being just below his fingertips. Hinata curls down around his friend, nosing at his hair before placing a small kiss at his hairline. He breathes out and starts following the flow Tobio's hair naturally falls in with his fingers. 
> 
> "I'm here," he whispers, but Tobio is already asleep.
> 
> I'm here. I'm here, you're invincible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kenma is my best boy

 

Making sure Tobio is asleep, Hinata slowly rises from the futon he'd pulled out of a closet Tobio had pointed him to down the hall. The blankets make little more than small rustling noises as he pushes them aside and gets to his feet. He uses the light from the streetlamps shining in the window to make it to the door of Tobio's room before slipping out. He'd insisted that he sleep here tonight, even thought Tobio put up a fight, ruining their tender moment. He wants to make sure Tobio is okay, and if that means him being here, then he will be here. 

He pads down the hall, his socks keeping his steps quiet, and back out to the porch, sliding the door closed behind him. He seats himself on the wrap-around couch on one end of the porch, propping his feet up on the low center table. Tobio's house really is too cool. He gazes fondly at the swing,  filling the gap the couch doesn't and creating a nice circle, all facing in. It feels cozy, even with the evening's lower temperature. He pulls the hood of his jacket over his head and rolls down the sleeves he must have pushed up in his fidgeting. Tobio really takes a long time to fall asleep. 

But Hinata has work to do, so he stayed still until he was sure Tobio was out cold.

Reminded of why he came out here, Hinata squirms around to pull his phone from his short's pocket and unlocks it. He scrolls through his open apps until he taps on his messages. The most recent thread is between him and Natsu, saying goodnight. He'd called his dad earlier to let him and his mom know that he was staying over at Tobio's, but they had both texted him goodnight, as well. Scrolling down, he finds the name he's looking for. He taps the thread and starts typing.

_kenma!!!! are u up?? i wanted 2 ask u sumth_

He sits and wonders if maybe ten at night is too late. Reminding himself that Kenma once texted him at two in the morning with a link to a new game trailer like it was normal, he feels more reassured that he'll get a response without inconveniencing his friend. Sure enough, the bubble pops up at the bottom of his screen.

_this is pretty late for you shouyou, everything ok?_

Proper spelling and punctuation as usual. For someone so set on taking the easiest possible route in everything he can get away with, Kenma sure cares a lot about grammar. Being captain has changed him. Hinata smiles and replies.

 _im fine!!! i was wonderin if my dearest senpai could give me sum advice  
_ _it has 2 do w tobio_

 _ew, don't ever call me that again.  
_ _who the hell is tobio?_

He snickers at the first message. Kenma is too easy. The second comes in and he cringes, biting his lip. Whoops. Kenma's going to ask him about that.

_ahah!!! i meant kageyama >////<_

_ohohoh?_

_ew omg ken u sound like kuroo-san_

_i'm insulted.  
_ _seriously, though. what's up with kageyama-kun? is HE ok?_

 _idt he is  
_ _its weird?????  
_ _hes always seemed so happy!  
_ _but he hasnt been at school this wk, or practice >:[  
_ _n when i talked to him 2day, he told me he has mdd??????  
_ _wat is tht?????_

_oh, kiddo..._

_wat?!?!?!_

_major depressive disorder._

_oh....  
_ _he did mention depression!!!!  
_ _says hes gt no energy_

_if he's diagnosed with mdd, it's probably worse than just energy levels, shou._

_how dyou kno all dis????_

_my sister.  
_ _she explained it to me when she took_ _a few weeks off when she was in college.  
_ __it was very sad to listen to her talk about it.  
_ _ _has kageyama-kun_ _said much about it to you?_

 _no_ __it was 2 emotional 2 rly tlk abt it in detail_ _

_that's understandable.  
_ _are you sure he is ok with you telling me this?_

_..._

_you didn't ask him, did you?_

_i maaaaaaay hv forgotn 2 ask_

_shouyou._

_im sry!!!  
i cant xpect him 2 kno wat he needs  
_ _pls he SUX at asking 4 help  
_ _n u always hv the best advice  
_ _senpaaaaaiii plssss_

_blocked and reported._

_dyou want me 2 bow???? ill bow!!!_

_so unnecessarily dramatic.  
_ _i'm guessing he's feeling the full force of an mde. is he on anti-depressants?_

 _thts me!!!!!!  
_ _mde??_

_major depressive episode._

_o tht sounds scary_

_it can be._

_wat do i do???????_

_be there, firstly. doubt, sadness, and hopelessness are common feelings.  
_ _it might feel silly, but reminders are important.  
_ _if you're serious about this, make sure he knows you're there.  
_ __he could get overwhelmed by things you feel are normal.  
_ _ _or struggle to find the motivation to do things you do every day._

_wahhhh!!!!! kenma!! ur so wise!!!!!!_

__... thanks, shouyou.  
_ _ __i_ _ __have to warn you, though.  
_ _ _this isn't going to be easy.  
_ __things could get bad.  
_ _ __it doesn't for everyone, but...__

_but????_

_i'm going to be blunt, shou.  
_ _suicidal thoughts and self-harm are a concern and can be easy to hide._

_suicidal..._

Hinata puts his phone down for a moment and sits very still. He can't hear the noises from the other side of the screens of the porch. He can't feel anything other than the beat of his heart and the buzzing of his phone. Shaking, he raises it back to his line of sight and unlocks it again.

 _don't freak out, yet. you don't know if he's even thinking like that.  
_ _maybe you'll be able to find out, maybe you won't.  
_ _but it is best to tread carefully._

_kenma... wat if he is?_

_in a perfect world, you take him to the hospital. or alert his parents that they need to do so.  
_ _or a psychologist if he's not an urgent danger to himself.  
_ _it can be harder sometimes, given the situation.  
_ _but you've faced scary things before, and you've made it through.  
_ _don't sell yourself short._

 _but this is tobio...  
i cnt lose him ken  
_ _i cnt fail this_

 _and you won't. you're hinata shouyou._  
that little #10.  
you take the odds stacked against you and grind them to dust.

_so poetic kenma~_

_don't lose hope, you brat.  
_ _you aren't the only one who cares about kageyama-kun.  
_ _this doesn't rest on only your shoulders._

Not the only one... oh. Hinata smiles weakly. He has an inkling of a plan forming. Maybe he knows someone that can help Tobio. But that's not what he needs to focus on right now.

_u always kno how 2 cheer me up_

_me? cheer someone up?  
_ __sounds fake, but ok._ _

_kenmaaaaaa_

_i know. i've got your back, kiddo.  
_ __if you need anything, just ask._ _

_thx  
_

_any time, shouyou.  
_ __i'll answer questions later, but it's well past midnight._ _  
__you need sleep, kid.__

_u keep callin me kid but im nt evn a 1st yr anymor_

_you'll always be a kid to me.  
_ __get some sleep._ _

_yea... yea i think i will_  
gn kenma

_goodnight, shouyou._

_thx_

_of course_

_< 3_

_< 3_

_yknow i think this is the most ive evr seen u type_

_go the fuck to sleep._

_lmao_

Hinata sniffles miserably but closes the app. He swipes to the last page of his apps, having left this one empty save for his messenger app. Like this, he can see his phone's background without anything in the way. He smiles despite feeling like he's going to cry, looking fondly at the picture he'd taken after their team had beat Shiratorizawa last year. They were all so small. Squishier. His younger self has his arm vanishing behind the camera and his head leaning to the side, bumping against Hitoka-chan's, their smiles sunny. Tobio stands behind him, a genuine but small grin on his face, arm over Hinata's shoulder and Hinata's wild hair obscuring part of his cheek. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi stand behind Hitoka-chan. Yamaguchi has a hand on the top of her head and had thrown his other arm around Tsukishima's neck and dragged him down into the frame, eyes fond as he glanced at Tsukishima's smirking face. They're all disgusting and sweaty, but there's so much pride and companionship in one picture. Hinata's heart feels full remembering the moment.

And then it doesn't. 

He looks closer at this younger Tobio. Was he sad here? Did he feel tired? Overwhelmed? Unwanted? Did Hinata say anything mean that day without thinking...? 

It doesn't matter, he concludes. He can't change the past. But Kenma was right. He's Hinata fucking Shouyou. He's going to do the best he can, and work to get better. He's going to be the friend Tobio needs.

He swipes back until he reaches the page where the photos app is and opens it. The most recent picture is the one he took earlier today, his finger squishing Tobio's cheek. He taps the picture and appreciates the peacefulness on his friend's face.  _Cute_ , he thinks, full of affection. He cares so much about this asshole. On a whim, he sets it to his lock screen background. Hinata turns off his phone and then turns it back on. That's what he's going to dedicate his time to. Right on his screen. Right next to him on the court, in school, walking home. Maybe he's found something he cares about more than volleyball.

His resolve set, Hinata tiptoes back to Tobio's room. Once the door is shut behind him, he just stands for a moment in the quiet room and breathes. He's in Tobio's room, in his house, in Miyagi. Tobio is with him and he's safe. He's invincible.

He exhales one last time and then crosses the room and picks up the blankets he pushed aside nearly two hours ago. Kneeling down to crawl onto the futon, his tired joints pop in protest. He's too young for that, but self-control is not his forte and overuse is a serious threat. 

Then, Hinata hears Tobio turn, mumbling in his sleep and aborts his previous plan of passing out immediately. He shuffles on his knees, turning to face his friend. Tobio now faces Hinata, hands tucked under his pillow. He looks younger like this. 

Arms crossed and resting on the low bed, chin resting on his arms, Hinata takes a moment to just... look at him. As far as faces go, Tobio's isn't the worst. It's... soft. When he's not scowling. Or yelling at him. Feeling brave, he traces the slope of Tobio's nose with his thumb, giggling at the difference between this and his usual scrunched up expression, following the line of his eyebrow before catching a strand of hair and tucking it behind his ear. He really has let it get too long. He won't be able to see where he's going soon. A problem for another day, he concludes. But right now, he's here and he's real, and that is all Hinata needs. Sighing, Hinata pulls his hand back and rests it on the sheets by Tobio pillow. He lets his eyes close, deciding he'll move back to the futon when he's tired enough. 

As he's dozing off, something touches his hand and he jerks awake.

"Sorry," Tobio mumbles. Hinata realizes now it was just his hand. Giggling quietly, he turns his hand to hold Tobio's properly. 

"Why are you awake, Bakageyama?" He breathes out, his gaze curiously landing on Tobio's face. His eyes are still closed but he has the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"My Dumbass Radar was going off, and now I know why. You're gonna wake up in pain if you fall asleep like that."

"Hey! I was going to move back! I was just-" he's cut off before he can finish his thought, which he decides is probably for the best, since he has no excuse, really.

"Shut up, idiot, you're gonna wake my moms up," Tobio is already falling back asleep.

"Sorry, I'll just- yeah," he makes to sink back down onto the futon, but Tobio's grip tightens on his hand.

"Stay up here."

"Hah?"

"I said to stay up here," he sounds suspiciously gentle, mumbling out commands like always, but softer, less aggressive, more vulnerable. And fuck if Hinata isn't learning very quickly that he cannot say no to him like he used to. 

"Okay," he rasps, climbing up next to Tobio and settling in. He maneuvers himself to face his friend, making sure he can see him. He squirms and wiggles until he's comfy and covered by Tobio's blankets. Did Tobio know that he desperately needed to know he was okay? That he was real? Immediately, Tobio throws an arm over Hinata's waist and tucks his forehead against his chest. Soft. So soft. He feels so small next to Hinata, for the first time ever.

Kageyama Tobio is Karasuno's vice-captain, he is their genius setter, he is their opponents' worst nightmares, he is larger than life, he is Hinata Shouyou's partner, his best friend. And right now, he's still just a kid. He is young, too young to have to feel any of the things Kenma was telling him about. 

"Play with my hair again," and Hinata knows his _radar_ comment was bullshit, that he has been caught. But Tobio is not fully awake, and he's not going to remember this, most likely. He might get punched in the morning. But Tobio is tired, and tired people are always more honest, right? Right. His free hand rests on the back of Tobio's head for a moment, feeling that there's an entirely real, complex being just below his fingertips. Hinata curls down around his friend, nosing at his hair before placing a small kiss at his hairline. He breathes out and starts following the flow Tobio's hair naturally falls in with his fingers. 

"I'm here," he whispers, but Tobio is already asleep.

_I'm here. I'm here, you're invincible._

He has more questions for Kenma, some research to do, and a plan to reach out to someone who might be able to help. But for now, he will be where Tobio needs him. Right here.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl Hinata is the embodiment what I wish I had  
> is he overly perfect? maybe  
> but  
> kid, no language on earth has a word for how little I care, a quantum supercomputer calculating for a thousand years could not even approach the number of fucks I do not give, the freakin' heat death of the universe could not-


	3. maybe defeating them could be the beginning of your meaning, friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm so glad he's got someone like Hinata, he's only ever let us be the ones he's vulnerable with. Opening up to someone his own age will be good for him, and Hinata is so sweet, too." Rei comments softly from behind her, coming up and leaning her hip against the other side of the doorway. Her smile is sad, but they both have so much love and hope that they've poured into their son and what he's going through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kageyama's family is great because he deserves the absolute best

Tiny footsteps tap down the hall, alerting Akari that it is, in fact, six thirty and the peace she felt in the last five minutes has come to an end. She grumbles as she pushes her curly bedhead away from her face and smacks her lips. Shit, gross. Going to bed right after drinking wine is worse than brushing her teeth when tipsy, and she relearns this fact most mornings, but the happy buzz just makes her cuddly, and Rei is warm, so why the fuck would she get back up? 

Turning away from the wall, she wraps her arm around her wife's waist and kisses the back of her neck.

"Rei, baby, the krakens have been released," she mumbles into silky white hair, nose scrunching as it's tickled. Before she can sneeze, there's rustling and suddenly fingers are pinching her nose.

"Don't blow our cover yet, we still have to catch them, don't we?" Rei breathes out before winking and easing herself back to feign sleep as the tiny footsteps get louder and stop at their door. Akari smiles fondly and follows suit, even snoring loudly to add to her act.

Children's whispered arguing can be heard through the wood before the knob turns. Their feet hit carpet before two little heads of curly hair pop up at the end of the bed, one black and one white. They scramble up onto their parents' bed, little knees and hands dig into the women's legs and then their stomachs before they both spring up and grab one child each. Akari yells in victory, declaring that one of the krakens has been apprehended, smothering her daughter in her arms and kissing her hair relentlessly. Rei is quieter, her chuckles drowned in the laughter of her wife and the twins. 

"Mama! I can't breathe!" Miyako screeches, face trapped against her mother's chest, chubby hands pushing against strong arms. 

"I'll save you!" Yukiko roars as he escapes his own hug and crawls to his other mother, kissing her face with loud  _mwahs_  until she's laughing and letting go of Miyako. She squishes Yukiko's small face and touches her nose to his, both smiling and scrunching their faces cutely. 

Miyako crawls to Rei, breathing dramatically and flopping gracelessly across her stomach. Rei's hand settles calmly in her hair and the family settles down, snuggling before they have to get up for the morning.

"You have too many freckles, I can't count them," Yukiko states, poking his mother's cheek. 

"One hundred thirteen," Miyako mumbles into her mother's stomach, "Mama helped me count them."

"Woah! That's so many!" He squishes his face closer to Akari's, trying to get a better look. He pulls back suddenly and turns to his sister.

"Did you count how many Tobio has?" He tilts his head, shifting to poke his sister's leg.

"Not many. One for each brain cell," comes the deadpan reply.

Akari gasps, "Miyako, that's not kind!" 

Her little head pops up in alarm, "It's not? Then why did Tooru-chan say it?"

Akari's sigh turns into a chuckle, relieved it didn't come from her daughter's own thoughts.

"Because, Tooru forgot you're young and impressionable." She takes note that she'll have to give that boy a good smack for that later. 

"Do you two think Tobio is smart?" Rei inquires kindly, already knowing the answer. Both kids snap to attention, immediately ready to sing Tobio's praises.

"The smartest!" Yukiko exclaims.

"Yeah, mom! He knows so much! He's been teaching me how to read bigger books!" Miyako says proudly.

"Then he has a lot of brain cells, because he  _is_  smart," Akari explains. She gets matching  _ooohs_  in return. 

"Yes  _oh_ , now go get dressed so mom and I can take you to the park like you wanted," she smiles fondly as they practically throw themselves off the bed, "but be quiet, Tobio and his friend are still asleep," she whisper-yells, stopping the twins in their loud running. The door closes behind them and the excited whispers grow quiet as Miyako and Yukiko make their way towards their room.

"Don't be too hard on Tooru, he's used to Takeru and his snark," Rei reminds softly, getting up to get dressed herself. Akari groans, burying her face in her pillow.

"I know... Hey, throw me my jeans?" She asks sweetly, snuggling further into the covers.

"Get them yourself, angel," she chastizes softly, which gets her a drawn-out  _nooo_ from the direction of their bed. She giggles and makes her way to their bathroom, closing the door with a soft, "get up, love."

Akari groans again before dragging herself out of bed and onto the floor, curled into a ball on the carpet. With a final groan, she gets up and gets dressed, getting her own jeans on and leaving for the kitchen.

She walks past Tobio's room and then the twins' room, careful not to step on the one section of the floor that creaks way too loudly, holding her breath until she's made it past. Obstacle avoided, she makes her way through their living room and finally into their offensively yellow kitchen, way too cheery for how early it is. Akari yawns as she starts the coffee machine, leaning against the counter as she waits. They're taking the twins to the park, probably getting there around seven thirty, and getting home around nine. If they're lucky. Even with the late night she knows they had, Tobio will be up before then, and his friend too. She should definitely leave a note and some pancakes for them to heat up. 

Satisfied with her plans, she starts on pancakes for everyone, being sure to make enough tiny ones for Miyako and Yukiko. By the time she's finished and the extras for Tobio and his friend are in the fridge, Rei and the twins have joined her in the kitchen. 

"All right family, take your seats and prepare for the best pancakes made by the best chef in the world!" She commands cheerfully, setting the large plate of pancakes in the middle of the table and swooping in to kiss Rei's cheek when she stands back up. There's a chorus of  _Thank yous_  and Akari smiles, proud. 

"No getting syrup on each other, Miyako, Yukiko, or we won't have as much time at the park because mom and I will have to spend forever getting it out of your hair again," she reminds them teasingly, and then quieter, "I'll be right back, Rei. I wanna leave a note for Tobio but I know I'll forget if I wait until after we eat." Rei nods in response and Akari makes her way to where they keep the post-its and pens on the counter. She scribbles a simple synopsis of what's up for the morning.

Akari puts the pen back and takes light steps back to Tobio's room, turning the knob slowly. Her plan to stick the note to her son's face is drop-kicked to the curb when she sees that Tobio has his face tucked cutely against his friend's chest. Both their hair is a mess, and limbs are everywhere, but they look sweet cuddled together. Ecstatic, Akari pulls out her phone and texts Rei.

_get to tobios room asap you gotta see this_

_Please tell me you didn't mess with them, dear._

_what??? me????? never!!!! srsly tho youre gonna wanna see this_

Satisfied with the fact that she's convinced Rei of her innocence  _and_  to come and see, she closes her messages app, and rereads her note as she walks to Tobio's nightstand, careful to be extra quiet. Gently placing the note down, she turns to smile at the image of her son and his friend. Tobio really needs more hugs, and she's glad that he's getting them from people other than his family. The sentimentality of the moment passes and mischievousness takes over as she taps on the camera and leans as far into their space as she dares, snagging a picture before Rei can get here and scold her. Content with the quality of the picture, she pockets her phone. She walks back out of the room, turning around to lean her head against the doorway, smiling fondly at her son, just watching for a moment.

"I'm so glad he's got someone like Hinata, he's only ever let us be the ones he's vulnerable with. Opening up to someone his own age will be good for him, and Hinata is so sweet, too." Rei comments softly from behind her, coming up and leaning her hip against the other side of the doorway.  Her smile is sad, but they both have so much love and hope that they've poured into their son and what he's going through.

Akari moves over to wrap her arm around Rei and rest her chin on her head, "He's gonna be okay, babe, just you wait. There's nothing a Kageyama can't do. We're quite the hardy bunch."

 

**Author's Note:**

> welp  
> [my tumblr](https://rallow-thebowlof-macandcheese.tumblr.com/)


End file.
